


Simplest Solutions

by kitana



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-12
Updated: 2009-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:46:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1230379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitana/pseuds/kitana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was no less ironic that Komui had conveniently assigned Lenalee and the beansprout to another mission, something involving seismic tremors the size of Antarctica.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Simplest Solutions

**Author's Note:**

> Pure PWP, this one. It originally started out a response to a prompt on the kink meme, but months have passed and I can't remember where the request lies, so if it's yours, here you are! :) I also want to say -- yes, Innocence probably doesn't work this way very often, but pfft, I needed a plot device so please don't be to butchering me. :D

The look on Kanda’s face was settled somewhere between “I-don’t-believe-this” and “I-want-to-kill-you” as Komui read off the mission objectives. Kanda was alright with the first set of directives: infiltrate the casino, retrieve the Innocence, and come home. The only stipulation, which happened to also be the fuel to Kanda’s irritation? The casino was couples only. Kanda suspected that it was much less a "couple's casino" than it was just another fancy way for men to impress their woman of the night. No better way to woo a woman than to show her how much money you're able to throw away.

It was no less ironic that Komui had conveniently assigned Lenalee and the beansprout to another mission, something involving seismic tremors the size of Antarctica. Kanda sighed internally. Why couldn’t that be his mission? His gaze flicked back and forth between Komui, who waited patiently for his nod of acceptance; Lavi, who he fully wanted to throttle; and the _dress._

He stared at the ridiculous thing for a long moment.

“Is that,” Kanda finally stated, gesturing towards the dress. “Is that really necessary?”

“Kanda,” Komui replied, his tired voice betraying his smile. “It is absolutely necessary. I don’t dare assume that an establishment of such proportions would welcome a nontraditional coupling readily.” Komui leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. “You have your mission, now go. Miranda will help you.”

* * *

“Kanda-san,” Miranda said pleasantly, bringing a mirror in front of him. “This dress is well suited to you. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Kanda stared at the unfamiliar reflection. His hair fell down his back, unbound; his lips and cheeks were painted a pale rouge, and his eyes were outlined with kohl. The dress itself was Navy, ankle length, with a full skirt of white ruffles. The neck of the dress just barely exposed his collarbone, and the sleeves were form fitting, stopping just after his elbow.

With a little huff, Kanda stalked towards the door. He at least was able to keep his normal boots – under a dress of such monstrous proportions, who would even consider? – and Mugen was strapped to his thigh instead of resting at his hips. That was small comfort compared to Lavi, who whistled appreciatively as Kanda stepped out of his room, almost shutting Miranda in the door in disgust.

“Couldn’t ask for a lovelier date,” Lavi said with a smirk, holding out his arm.

"Stuff it," Kanda replied through his teeth. He was just barely holding back the urge to rampage, and he refused to let the redhead goad him into an undignified response. He had given Lavi enough liberties already. He took Lavi's arm stiffly, trying to take small steps. Miranda had said he had to walk "daintily" like normal ladies did.

Kanda had the feeling that the night would not end well.

* * *

Entering the casino was easy enough. Kanda passed as just an unusually tall woman, and Lavi’s eyepatch was just another weird aristocratic fashion statement to the people at the door. The two Exorcists stepped inside, surveying the room.

The ceiling was domed, with sparkling crystal chandeliers hanging intricately from it. The corners of the room held booths with tables, and slot machines and various gambling tables were lined up neatly in the middle of the floor. Back behind everything else was the bar, and a jukebox. For a place that was deemed to be very classy and high-end, the casino didn't look like much. It was neat and clean, but understated in comparison to other places Lavi had seen. There was a spiraling staircase that led upwards, and Lavi fathomed that was where the real action was.

"Hey, Yuu," Lavi said mildly, his eyes sweeping the room for something out of the ordinary. "See any signs?"

Kanda simply shook his head in denial. If he spoke, his voice would easily give him away. Didn't the idiot rabbit know that?

It took Lavi a moment to realize why Kanda didn't have a scathing remark to unleash upon him. "Oh," he said, then pursed his lips in thought. "I doubt there's anything down here of interest anyway, so let's try upstairs."

Kanda's steps were smoother than before as he adjusted to walking "like a lady." It was beyond Kanda why women went through so much to look pretty; if this was what it took to look good, Kanda would have rather been naked. He ascended the steps slowly, holding the skirt of his dress in one hand and the banister in another. He may not like anything about this mission, but he wouldn't mess it up either.

Kanda bristled when he felt Lavi's palm press against his lower back, guiding him up the last of the stairs. "You're playing along well enough to make me look bad," Lavi whispered with a grin. Kanda shot Lavi a nasty glare in reply before schooling his face back into some semblance of neutral. Surely Lavi knew better than to pull any stunts here. At least, Kanda hoped so; with Lavi, one never knew exactly what his aims were until the last minute.

Kanda and Lavi were greeted at the top of the stairs by a man in red and black, with the name of the casino embroidered on the right breast of his shirt. The man bowed ostentatiously and Kanda fought the urge to sneer. At least it was considered ladylike to be quiet; it had to be the only thing in Kanda's favour tonight.

"Good evening, sir and madam, would you like to see our rooms? We have one that is especially accommodating," the man said, gesturing for Lavi and Kanda to follow. A few steps down the hallway later, the man stopped and smiled. "Our patrons are especially fond of this room. It seems to be like a 'lucky charm' for them, if you are understanding of what I mean?"

"Lucky charm," Lavi echoed, then smirked. Perhaps this room held the Innocence. He glanced at Kanda, then the man. "We'd like this room, then."

The man turned towards the room and unlocked the door, letting it splay wide. "Certainly," he then said, motioning for Kanda and Lavi to step inside.

The room seemed to radiate heat as soon as Kanda stepped into it. With another ridiculous bow, the man left and closed the door behind him. It only took half a glance to tell what the room was designed for -- there was a bed in the middle of the room, done up with crisp white blankets. The windows were shielded with thick red draperies, and the chandelier in the ceiling was dimly lit.

"Romantic, huh?" Lavi said, amused. "There is really nothing out of the ordinary here, though, is there?"

Kanda shrugged a bit and tugged on the collar of his dress. "It's warmer in here than it was outside."

"Yeah," Lavi replied absently. He paced around the small room, but nothing happened. He even tried checking under the bed. Hands on his hips, Lavi turned back to Kanda. "You alright, Yuu? You haven't said anything."

Kanda frowned as he pushed up the sleeves of his dress. He pressed his fingers to the wall behind him, but the wall surface held no chill at all. "You don't feel it getting warmer in here?"

"Not really," the redhead responded, then paused. "Of course, Yuu! Lucky charm, right?"

"What are you talking about?" Kanda hissed, frustrated with the heat that the mountain of frills he wore was keeping in. Despite the warmth he was feeling, he wasn't sweating at all.

"Think about it," Lavi said, coming around the bed to stand in front of Kanda. Kanda's eyes widened as something finally clicked.

"You must be crazy; you must think _I'm_ crazy," he said as he stalked towards the door. "If the Innocence is in this room, we'll tell Komui and have him find a way to draw it out. I'm not doing that here."

"So you're abandoning the mission? We're supposed to bring it back ourselves, you know." Kanda stopped when Lavi pressed both palms to the door, encircling him. Lavi's lips were inches from his ear and it seemed the heat surrounding him increased exponentially. "This will bring it out; trust me."

Kanda turned to face Lavi and stared at him for a long moment. He hated when the redhead actually made a solid point. "Not a word, or else I'll--"

Lavi silenced him with a kiss, smearing the lipstick Miranda had carefully applied. Kanda's fingers fisted in Lavi's shirt, pulling the redhead closer. It was a familiar dance, the way Lavi's tongue met his, but he found it no less thrilling as his cock started to harden beneath the dress. He bit at Lavi's lip; the groan the redhead made went straight to his groin. When Lavi pulled away, his lips were almost as red as Kanda's.

"Tastes horrible," Lavi murmured, nipping at Kanda's ear.

"Don't you dare complain," Kanda replied, though none of the usual sarcasm was there.

"Wouldn't dream of of it."

Lavi's hands tangled into Kanda's hair, bringing their lips together again. He didn't release Kanda's lips until the man was gasping, breathless, and achingly rock hard against him. Lavi smiled as he moved to kneel in front of Kanda; he kept his eye trained on Kanda's face, enjoying kissed-stupid look he wore.

Kanda spread his legs, lifting the skirt of his dress. His underwear was damp where the head of his cock pressed against the fabric, and Lavi smoothed his hand over the wetness. Kanda shivered and bit his lip, watching Lavi through lowered lashes.

"You look good like this, Yuu," Lavi murmured again, pulling on Kanda's boxers until they pooled at his ankles.

A few responses flitted through Kanda's mind, but he didn't trust his voice enough to speak any of them. Wamrth clung to Kanda like a second skin, his throat was dry, and Lavi's mouth was close enough to his cock that he could feel the little puffs of breath from him. The redhead got away with the world and then some in Kanda's view, but when Lavi's fingers gripped his thighs, making him moan low in his throat, Kanda was unsure of whether he could be bothered to care.

"Watch for it," Lavi spoke softly. Before Kanda could reply, he slid his lips over Kanda's length, taking the entirety of it into his mouth. Kanda groaned, clenching his fingers in the soft cotton and lace he held. Lavi's mouth was all soft, slick heat and Kanda had trouble keeping his breathing in check. Lavi's tongue swirled in cirlces over the head of his cock, bringing more soft moans from the man above him. Pleasure spiked up Kanda's spine and spread, leaving his fingertips and toes tingling.

Through his lashes, Kanda could see a faint green glow coming from the back of the room. He found it hard to focus on it, with Lavi sending perfect little jolts of ecstacy through him with each flick of his tongue. Lavi held on fast to his thighs when he tried to thrust, stabilizing him; he could feel the tension coiling deep in his groin, and the green light shimmered and intensified.

"Shit, I," Kanda stammered, trying to articulate his thoughts as Lavi swallowed around his cock. His orgasm came before he was prepared for it, stuttering through his body in waves. His senses came back to him one at a time, with him first seeing the green light fading, then hearing Lavi make a husky contented noise. Kanda slumped against the door as Lavi stood again, completely spent.

"You saw it, right?" Lavi asked, brushing his lips against Kanda's once more.

"Yes, I did, it's in the headboard," he replied, regaining his composure in bits and pieces. Kanda was too sated for his customary glare to hold much force. "Can we get the hell out of here now?"

"Sure thing. Remember that you owe me, though."

Kanda snorted and tried to smooth the wrinkled fabric of his dress.

Lavi smirked. "I'll take that as a yes, of course."


End file.
